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I amBreathe me in,
fill your lungs with my presence.
I am pain.
I am anguish.
I am suffering.
I am grief.
I am misery.
I am agony.
I am everything that you hate
about this world,
and about yourself.
And I will ever so slowly kill you;
Filling your lungs with my toxic smoke.
Or drowning you in your own tears.
Or pushing you to cut too deep the next time.
Or luring your to the cliff, the noose, the pill bottle.
You cannot escape me forever.
Even those who have never known me will.
Eventually they will be striken down by me.
Some, on the other hand,
know me well.
love letters and other collabsdear girl,
im writing you a letter first because you cant bring yourself to write to me no matter how hard you dont try. i saw you winking at my anatomy, wishing on stars that id surpass the distance and see you. you wished that wed take jazz lessons so we could swing dance through the ballroom sky; that wed watch scary movies just so you could hide behind my cushioning arm; that wed swim through the cold air of the stratosphere like the pools in the backyards of casinos we walked in just to gamble romance away. wed do all that and more, but the atlantic ocean erased the chroma from our vivid universe and vacuumed the wishing-well-stars from our mouths.
i'm not quite sure if i've told you this before, but your writing to me sends tingles down my spine and makes me smile. i'm sorry i could not be the first to send you my letter; its because i'm oh-so-scared-of-how-you-would-react. but don
This New Reality
As the sun sets I see you in all my pain,
Here you left me in the darkness & in the darkness I shall remain,
And it's here I'll be waiting for you forevermore,
To justify the pain I'll forever endure,
As you were the purpose and the cause,
For all my misfortunes and flaws,
You were behind all the confusion,
Behind my sweet deluded illusion.
I saw you stare at me with the sinister smile,
I felt myself go faint with fear for a while,
I could see the hatred within your eyes,
Looking past my deluded lies,
I felt you touch me with your porcelain skin,
I realised the truth from within,
When your voice called my name I could tell,
That you'd forever sentenced me to hell.
I saw you beneath the moonlit sky,
I started to contemplate why,
You're so beautiful; surely you're not real,
And I'm hallucinating this entire ordeal,
Just a figment of my imagination,
Another of my made up creations,
Here forever to torment me,
Keeping me chained to this new reality.
I saw you stare at me with the sinister
I LovedI see the angel of death,
The stench of obnoxious breath,
All the roses have withered,
The soulless race have gathered.
I can feel how they suffer
As people kill each other,
The blood of the forgotten,
The being of the rotten.
Oh I have loved you very much.
But I felt not a single touch.
I have given you all the cost.
Yet now I am the one who lost.
I see the angel of light,
The gracefulness of her sight,
The garden bloomed with her poise.
All the spirits have rejoiced.
I can feel her godly lips
As she made her divine kiss.
The great life that was shattered,
Instantly I remembered.
She muttered something with a toast,
"Straighten up young man, Stand up tall!
It's better to have loved and lost,
Than to have never loved at all."
IowaIf you visit Iowa,
you'll call her fields empty,
but she wasn't born that way.
A part of her was carved out
when she was ripped between Virginia
and the purple mountains of New Mexico.
Her gold hair, she tore it out when she realized
it didn't make her a princess.
She laid her locks strung along every road
leading somewhere else.
White hairs on her cheeks
are scars from winter.
Her hair darkens with the dampness
of summer rains.
The storms are never silent,
but neither is life when there's a tear
in your childhood where
a parent ought to be.
I've been flooded by Iowa's sorrow.
The only way I can distract her from her own voided landscape
is if I hate myself harder than she cries.
She just wants to fly
and I want to bus or train,
not because I fear death, but because
I want to take living slow.
It's the only way I ever feel.
From the air it's hard to watch Earth's hips move.
But Earth can't compare to the country.
That's my girl.
Full grown even when harvesting season's j
To depression, for creating days without endWake up to the realization that you've been awake
for seconds, minutes, hours.
You've been awake in this warm, dark room
and you don't know how long it's been
but now you're conscious
and it starts again--
the pain, strong and steady, in your chest.
You gain consciousness in this too warm morning
and your thoughts whir in endless loops
because it's either that or face the weight in your chest.
Light breaks though the window, soft and unwelcome
but you take it as a reluctant gift--
a new distraction from the feelings awake in your chest.
Awake, but not conscious.
So you think yourself in circles a little while longer
waiting for those quiet pains
(the constant reminder)
to gain consciousness.
Keep in Touch!
scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More