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I amBreathe me in,
fill your lungs with my presence.
I am pain.
I am anguish.
I am suffering.
I am grief.
I am misery.
I am agony.
I am everything that you hate
about this world,
and about yourself.
And I will ever so slowly kill you;
Filling your lungs with my toxic smoke.
Or drowning you in your own tears.
Or pushing you to cut too deep the next time.
Or luring your to the cliff, the noose, the pill bottle.
You cannot escape me forever.
Even those who have never known me will.
Eventually they will be striken down by me.
Some, on the other hand,
know me well.
love letters and other collabsdear girl,
im writing you a letter first because you cant bring yourself to write to me no matter how hard you dont try. i saw you winking at my anatomy, wishing on stars that id surpass the distance and see you. you wished that wed take jazz lessons so we could swing dance through the ballroom sky; that wed watch scary movies just so you could hide behind my cushioning arm; that wed swim through the cold air of the stratosphere like the pools in the backyards of casinos we walked in just to gamble romance away. wed do all that and more, but the atlantic ocean erased the chroma from our vivid universe and vacuumed the wishing-well-stars from our mouths.
i'm not quite sure if i've told you this before, but your writing to me sends tingles down my spine and makes me smile. i'm sorry i could not be the first to send you my letter; its because i'm oh-so-scared-of-how-you-would-react. but don
This New Reality
As the sun sets I see you in all my pain,
Here you left me in the darkness & in the darkness I shall remain,
And it's here I'll be waiting for you forevermore,
To justify the pain I'll forever endure,
As you were the purpose and the cause,
For all my misfortunes and flaws,
You were behind all the confusion,
Behind my sweet deluded illusion.
I saw you stare at me with the sinister smile,
I felt myself go faint with fear for a while,
I could see the hatred within your eyes,
Looking past my deluded lies,
I felt you touch me with your porcelain skin,
I realised the truth from within,
When your voice called my name I could tell,
That you'd forever sentenced me to hell.
I saw you beneath the moonlit sky,
I started to contemplate why,
You're so beautiful; surely you're not real,
And I'm hallucinating this entire ordeal,
Just a figment of my imagination,
Another of my made up creations,
Here forever to torment me,
Keeping me chained to this new reality.
I saw you stare at me with the sinister
I LovedI see the angel of death,
The stench of obnoxious breath,
All the roses have withered,
The soulless race have gathered.
I can feel how they suffer
As people kill each other,
The blood of the forgotten,
The being of the rotten.
Oh I have loved you very much.
But I felt not a single touch.
I have given you all the cost.
Yet now I am the one who lost.
I see the angel of light,
The gracefulness of her sight,
The garden bloomed with her poise.
All the spirits have rejoiced.
I can feel her godly lips
As she made her divine kiss.
The great life that was shattered,
Instantly I remembered.
She muttered something with a toast,
"Straighten up young man, Stand up tall!
It's better to have loved and lost,
Than to have never loved at all."
ViolinI remember the day
you told me violins
were strung with cat gut
and that is why
you hated music
(who says that to a child?)
I followed you
all that summer.
I watched you
grow away from mother -
your whiskey held better conversations
and all she did was cry.
We'd sit cross-legged on the porch
and count the horseflies
settling on our lunch.
You would drown tadpoles
in a bucket
surprised they could not swim
and I would dream
of cherry popsicles.
And when night would gather
on the sidewalk
I'd hold my breath
until a star appeared.
Don't bother making wishes
you'd tell me -
stars are dead weight in heaven
and God has cloth ears.
Keep in Touch!